Find yourself at the end of a relationship? Maybe you’re recently divorced. Or fresh out of a short-term or long-term partnership. Regardless, any ending can be tough to take and even traumatic. Be kind to yourself as you grieve. And know you are not alone.
Also, know this is the chance to make a fresh, new start. The future can be anything you want it to be. Let’s talk about ways to heal, be hopeful and even flourish.
Give yourself time to grieve
Make sure you build time into your routine to process what has happened. Grieve in a way that honors the loss and gives it meaning so that you can begin to heal. This looks different for everyone. Realize you may have less energy than usual. Divorces and breakups are major life events. They can be emotionally draining.1 Feel and acknowledge all your feelings. Everything you feel is valid simply because you feel it! Try not to judge your emotions.
Journaling is a great way to process all kinds of things. In fact, writing about emotional experiences helps benefit our mental health.2 Journaling puts your thoughts and feelings right in front of you for examination. You may want to start by writing down what you’re feeling. You can also write down everything you’re thankful for and what you have learned.
No doubt you have learned all kinds of things from your relationship. Maybe you learned something about yourself because of your interaction with the other person. Maybe you learned something about another culture. Maybe you learned how to do a new activity. Consider what you’ve been exposed to and how it can enrich your life moving forward.
Practice positive self-talk
The conversations you have with yourself affect your attitude. Think about what you would say to a friend. Then, say that to yourself. “You got this.” “It’s going to be OK.” “You are a good friend.” Be especially kind with your internal dialogue. Having these positive conversations can help you feel more confident.3
Enjoy the process of self-discovery
This is a great time to decide who you want to be on your own. Reassess what you like and don’t like. Where do you want to be in one, three or five years? In what ways would you like to grow? You’re independent and free to make decisions that work for you. The future is yours for the making. With work, you can turn this ending into a positive new beginning. In some cases, these life events can build greater emotional growth.4
Do something every day that brings you joy and relaxation. What makes you happy? Try something new. Revisit activities or hobbies you may have given up during your relationship.
Take care of yourself physically
We’ve talked about ways to take care of your emotional health. It’s also important to care for your physical health. Eat well-balanced meals. Exercise. Get enough rest. This might be a good time to schedule a physical. Visit your primary care doctor to make sure you’re up to date on health screenings.
Being in good physical health can help you feel better about your whole self. If you don’t already have a primary care doctor, consider finding one. Our Primary Care services make it easy.
Don’t go at it alone. Reach out to friends and family you trust. Join a support group. Talk with a therapist. There are therapists who specialize in relationship-related issues. Draw from their experience and expertise.1 You can also try our Mental Health support for help. It’s confidential and easy to access.
Take good care of yourself. Learn how to practice self-care.
Published October 23, 2023